I must confess I have wanted to start my own blog for a while now. It’s taken me a long time to build up the courage to share my thoughts, hopes, frustrations, fears and, hell, even my successes! So why was today the day that I chose to start? Don’t laugh, but I must confess, the seed started to germinate years ago when I went to see a clairvoyant. I have a friend who frequently seeks the counsel of seers and during an intoxicated evening, she suggested I join her on one of her next visits. Of course, the wine made me say yes, after all, what did I have to lose?
To my disappointment, there were no crystal balls, no candles, and no paranormal activity. Nope. Just me and this psychic sitting in a coffee shop without our mobile phones — which was the most unearthly part of the whole experience. I can’t remember most of what she said; something about my role in the time of Solomon, something about me being a man in the Middle Ages, something about my philandering husband from my most recent past life. What I do remember with absolute clarity were her first words – ‘Why aren’t you writing’?
‘Ah, I do write’ I retorted with all the obnoxiousness of a sceptic.
‘No. I mean, your personal and creative writing. Why aren’t you doing it?’
I almost fell off my chair. How did this stranger know I wanted to engage in more creative writing? (Cue the suspenseful music).
Damned if I knew. Maybe she could see the future. Nevertheless, it got me thinking. Why aren’t I writing more? Not for money or for glory, but for me. For my soul. For my sanity.
My work as a freelancer business writer means that I generally get to choose my own hours (which is great) but it also means that I spend my days alone without colleagues to gossip with, chat to, or grab a latte with — no office scandals for me! So I often create drama and dialogue in my head, frustrated that I cannot share it with someone. My partner is so busy at work that when I ring to vent my frustrations about a news article or I call to complain about something the kids did that morning, well…let’s just say he frequently has to cut me short because, as he says, I can talk under water.
What was I to do?
I have been keeping a diary for each of my children since they were born, detailing their milestones, funny anecdotes, and their inquisitive questions. But I craved more. A connection to others who were facing the same difficulties I was. I wanted to create a dialogue and share ideas with people who were in a similar situation to me. I guess what I have been craving is a creative outlet for the thoughts that reverberate in my head – the ones that I cannot always share with family and friends.
This is where my desire to start a blog began to grow.
Am I ready to share the inner workings of my mind with the cyber world? I don’t know. What I do know is that I am willing to give it a go.
So. Here I am. Jen. Posting my first blog. I hope you enjoy my confessions — my rants, my frustrations, my hopes, my desires, my losses, my triumphs. At times, I may be facetious, at others controversial, and I may even be downright crass and rude. Nevertheless, I will always be honest. What I hope is to create a conversation – a real conversation about life (not a manufactured Instagram-perfect snapshot of ‘real’ life). I hope you enjoy the journey.
PS: If someone does read this, please shoot me an email so that I know that a real life person somewhere in the world has actually seen my post! I would really appreciate your feedback.
Let the confessions begin.